Our past experiences play a key role in our overall development. The environment we grow up in, the ideologies that surround us during our initial stage of life forms a bundle of past experiences. The first beings we come in contact with are our parents and thus they are a massive part of past experiences. Thus, it is very essential that a parent gives his/her child the well-deserved environment to grow and develop. As every child is unique, every parent too is unique in his or her own way. Each and every parent wants a different value to be ingrained in their child.
Before going into toxic parenting, it is important to understand that our parents are also humans and can make mistakes like any other human being.
So, it is important to see the reason why they are acting the way they are acting. Healing this way becomes easier and brings us close to our family. A toxic parent compares and puts forward conditions in any way possible like comparing the child’s qualities with that of others. It brings in the child the sense of always being perfect and they carry this pressure with them throughout. It is mentally draining for the child to always hear comparisons and they too look for acceptance and acknowledgement.
Being concerned about the child is good but when that concern turns to control then it starts to pose problems. If a parent is too controlling the child is hindered to make his/her own mistakes and thus the learning part disappears somewhere and only strict discipline bound the child’s life. Every mistake comes with a lesson and thus acknowledging that lesson is very important, but if a parent always responds in the negative way and never the positive way, the child too will be habitual to take only the ‘what not to do’ instead of ‘how to improve it’.
So, to conclude, a positive parenting can save a child from years of pain, self-doubt, struggle and hopelessness and thus it is important to provide the child a safe, easy and open space to grow and form perceptions of the world.
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